I was up too late last night. As is often the case, I was up too late finishing a murder mystery. Stan has remarked that I chew through books (which is a habit I developed from my mother.) Like the nutritional value in food, books have varying levels of good they bring. Murder mysteries are potato chip books. So tasty, inviting, and hard to quit. I love both the books and the chips but inevitably, when I've let one of them take over my will, I end up asking whether it was really worth it.
I'm also reading some non-fluffy books in my temporary respite from mothering. I'm re-reading French Women Don't Get Fat which boils so many daily choices down to that simple question: Is it worth it to you? You can have the big bowl of ice cream (the flavor your kids picked which doesn't honestly taste all that great) but are you really enjoying it? What's the point of drinking wine with your dinner if you don't take the time to savor it? You can buy lots of mediocre veggies and then cover them in fatty sauce but wouldn't it be better to buy the fresh stuff and then enjoy it as simply as nature intended?
That question seems to be at the crux of so many things for me these days. I could read this book that doesn't do much for me (and isn't well written) but is it worth what am I giving up? I could turn on the tv to wash away my worries but what would happen if I instead turned to my guitar or paints?
I'm a big fan of reading just for the pleasure of it; I find great entertainment in some tv shows; I adore potato chips. I don't want any of those things to be cleansed from my life entirely but I hope to be more intentional and honest with myself about my choices. I want to strive for what is good rather than settle for what it acceptable. I want to fill my life with things that are worth it. I want to set a good example for my kids of what a life well lived looks like. More than that, though, I want to live a life that nurtures my soul and allows me to flourish, whatever I face.
Heather, I once had a Lit professor that said that we should read what we choose. Some books are gold, some are dross, read dross if you choose, as long as you know it is dross. (He actually used some words I choose not to use here) His point was that we should read that which enlightens us, but if we just want diversion, that is fine, too.
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