They're coming back tomorrow!

Today has been incredibly quiet and peaceful. Puddin' has been an absolute delight. My mom came over to play with Puddin' and help me get the house ready for everyone's return but even our flurry of cleaning was still calm. (Thanks for your help, Ma!) The stories I heard from down South were not calm - lots of loud laughter, cavorting, hamming it up, etc. Slightly tearful goodbyes but mostly just folks enjoying each other. There's a part of me that loves days like today. I can't maintain sanity without them. But I'm looking forward to having my wild and crazy girls back in the house (not to mention my handsome hubby.) I gladly trade a little sanity for having all five of us under one roof again.

It turns out that for much of August Monkey and Peanut will be with their mom so Stan and I are only getting them back for short doses. I know she has a right to time with them and I certainly don't begrudge her time with her kids - I just forgot to factor that into my plans. Here I've been dreaming of all the things we're going to do and we'll be doing well to get through a tenth of them. They are such loveable girls, everyone wants a piece of them. I'm grateful I get a turn but like a good potato chip, I'm left wanting more. Once school starts we'll be back to routine; that routine gets me daily hugs, lots of stories, and snacktime.

New Shoes

Yesterday I finally broke down and bought new running shoes. My knees, ankles, and shins have been begging for them for a while but the shoes that fit my skinny little feet are not a payless purchase. This morning I went for my first run with the new shoes. I had hoped that the shoes would carry a level of excitement all their own and offer some extra oomph. It didn't turn out that way.

A few months ago I set up a plan in which I HAVE TO run every Monday, Wednesday, & Friday. I usually take Puddin' in the jogging stroller and sometimes have Monkey & Peanut on their bikes. On rainy days I still have to go out but I get the luxury of going by myself. This is the first time in my life that I've been able to keep up a consistent exercise plan for any length of time and I'm pretty proud of myself for the endeavor so far.

At the beginning of the summer I was running a lovely little loop through the neighborhood past some gorgeous lawns and under lots of trees. I like this route a lot but it's too short. I made the decision that fitness demands more mileage so I went back to a longer route I've run in the past that is down a more major road with more traffic and little natural beauty to encourage me. Since making this shift I have been an unhappy runner. I'm still going three times a week but I don't want to. Let's do that again but this time imagine it with full whine - but I don't want to! This is not sustainable.

My shiny new shoes helped a little today. Running without aches helps relieve both physical and mental stress on the matter. Given my love of shoes, though, I had expected a bigger boost of motivation. This problem is bigger than shoes can fix and I'm currently at a loss. Any suggestions?

Auto Moto

Fabulous car, isn't it? We're driving later this week but not in quite this kind of style. Somehow I don't see the classic car as our best choice for the half day journey with a load of kids.

We're traveling back down South to pick up Monkey & Peanut! I'm so excited to see them again. When all is said and done, I'm willing to give up my (glorious) moments of quiet in order to have those two within reach of a snuggle. I'm not, however, so excited about the trip. Puddin' has started resisting her car seat even for short trips. She wants to walk and run and will puncture the eardrums of anyone who tries to tie her down. The poor dear has to endure the long journey twice in three days and it might be more than our usually easy going kid can take. I wonder if there's a patron saint of long car rides?

In honor of our trip (and thanks to a sale at the grocery store) I'm drinking Auto Moto Cabernet Sauvignon 2005. I'm not afraid of dry wines but here the tannins are noticeably harsh so the wine feels more dry and cottony than I'm comfortable with. With the aftertaste, it does mellow out a little and I find a hint of leathery taste that goes so well with steak. Assessment: Drinkable so if it's on sale and you're grilling go for it. It's probably not worth full price and is not likely to impress dinner guests.

I hope the trip is better than the wine.

Post Script: I went upstairs from writing this post and found Stan pouring over airline websites. After talking things through we found a reasonable option: Stan will be flying back with Monkey & Peanut, while Puddin' and I wait at home. A rather boring end to the story but a much happier one for most.

Sidewalks

For over a decade I lived in a major US city. I moved around to various neighborhoods - some good, mostly not - but made a point to stay within the city limits. I considered myself to be a city girl. I felt that I had made the better choice. "You see," the line went, "urban is great and rural has its merits but the suburbs are trying to have the best of both worlds and ending up with the worst of it all." Fast forward a few years and I live in the suburbs, white picket fence and all. While I love my home there has been a little nagging voice telling me that I settled.

Earlier this week I had a very cranky toddler on my hands. I had tried all my tricks so I decided we would go on an adventure. I took Puddin' downtown to a shopping thoroughfare where we'd have lots of new sights and sounds, not to mention a little bit of the pier. I'd also have a taste of that urban life that I used to love so much. After just a few hours in that world again I've come to the conclusion that there is an almost insurmountable difference between single-gal-in-the-city and stroller-brigade.

The sidewalks in this part of downtown were narrow and uneven. Folks begrudgingly moved out of the way of the stroller but only after giving us dirty looks. Eating lunch in a noisy cafe, we were pariahs. Even with all the noise the normal patrons produced, people cringed and shot condescending looks every time Puddin' made a noise. There were no automatic doors and very few volunteers to hold them open while I maneuvered the stroller through. None of the public spaces were toddler safe so Puddin' was stuck in the stroller almost the whole trip. Our search for a changing table took too long so when we finally returned to the van, dejected, Puddin' had sprung a leak. Where I once felt emboldened by urban life I instead felt beaten down. We returned to our home and routine, much worse for the wear.

The next morning Puddin' and I went for our usual run through the neighborhood. The sidewalks are wide enough for the bulky jogging stroller with room to spare for a passerby. Still, folks out walking their dogs will move over to the grass to make room and wave or give a friendly hello. People working in their yards will call out encouragement - especially when I've got Monkey & Peanut along too. Sometimes a neighbor out for her walk will fall in step and travel with us part of the way. On this particular day I forgot my keys and cell phone. Stan left for work while we were out and dutifully locked up. (It's a good neighborhood but not that good.) One neighbor let Puddin' and I in to use the phone. They offered their house for as long as we needed it and invited us to the breakfast table. Then the neighbor who keeps our spare key got home and gave us a quick tour of the remodel he and his wife are doing while he searched for the key. In less than an hour I had enough uplifting interactions to erase the downers from the day before.

I suppose with practice I could probably adjust to the life of urban mom but I'm grateful I don't have to. I have shed my city girl disguise and have emerged as a happy suburban housewife. Ain't life grand?

Orogeny

Orogeny Chardonnay 2006
Green Valley of Russian River Valley
World Market for about $10

Note: The photo you see is obviously not of a wine. It's not even the place where the wine was grown. This picture shows an example of the geological phenomenon orogeny; specifically, King Oscar Fjord in Greenland. I've never wanted to go to Greenland but I think I do now. You can read more about orogeny and how it's relevant to the wine at Orogeny Vineyards.

Now back to the wine. Some Chardonnay is heavy or viscous but this one is light and delicate. There are hints of lemon chiffon and pineapple which settle gently on the tongue rather than smack it around. When serving with food be careful not to pair Orogeny with spices that might over power. We served it with hummus veggie wraps and the combination was delightful.

What's it Worth to You?

I was up too late last night. As is often the case, I was up too late finishing a murder mystery. Stan has remarked that I chew through books (which is a habit I developed from my mother.) Like the nutritional value in food, books have varying levels of good they bring. Murder mysteries are potato chip books. So tasty, inviting, and hard to quit. I love both the books and the chips but inevitably, when I've let one of them take over my will, I end up asking whether it was really worth it.

I'm also reading some non-fluffy books in my temporary respite from mothering. I'm re-reading French Women Don't Get Fat which boils so many daily choices down to that simple question: Is it worth it to you? You can have the big bowl of ice cream (the flavor your kids picked which doesn't honestly taste all that great) but are you really enjoying it? What's the point of drinking wine with your dinner if you don't take the time to savor it? You can buy lots of mediocre veggies and then cover them in fatty sauce but wouldn't it be better to buy the fresh stuff and then enjoy it as simply as nature intended?

That question seems to be at the crux of so many things for me these days. I could read this book that doesn't do much for me (and isn't well written) but is it worth what am I giving up? I could turn on the tv to wash away my worries but what would happen if I instead turned to my guitar or paints?

I'm a big fan of reading just for the pleasure of it; I find great entertainment in some tv shows; I adore potato chips. I don't want any of those things to be cleansed from my life entirely but I hope to be more intentional and honest with myself about my choices. I want to strive for what is good rather than settle for what it acceptable. I want to fill my life with things that are worth it. I want to set a good example for my kids of what a life well lived looks like. More than that, though, I want to live a life that nurtures my soul and allows me to flourish, whatever I face.

Red Guitar

I've been trying to write about this wine for a few days but I've spilled my glass not once but twice. Before this week I don't know when the last time I spilled a glass of wine was but here I've done it twice in one week. And for those wondering, I'd barely tasted when either of these accidents happened so it can't be blamed on the alcohol. I'm left pondering the possible message from the gods and my poor husband is ready to ban me from sitting on any of the nice furniture. So it is with embarrassment that I press forward with the review.

Red Guitar 2007
Old Vine Tempranillo Garnacha
Navarra, Spain
about $8

The label is cute. The website is catchy. The wine is refreshing. In some ways I'm grateful for the difficulty I've had in assessing the wine properly because it's the kind of wine that just wants to be loved. Taking a sip, I can hear the guitarist urging me to relax; submit to the wine, the music and the night. Tonight I'm going to take my glass outside and listen to the sounds of summer. I'll be enjoying the wine rather than thinking about it, which is all that Red Guitar ever wanted from me anyway.

If the dress fits

A friend of mine just got engaged this week, which happens to be the very same week that I finally started working on my wedding album. I had already been digging through piles so when she told me the news I had plenty of checklists and magazines to share. I get to de-clutter a little, she might find some useful info. It may not be exactly win-win but it's not a bad deal either. She and I are also about the same size and height so she tried on my wedding gown. This was the first gown she'd put on so she had that I'm a bride glow about her. She may or not borrow it for her wedding but it was the sharing that was fun.

Then, at her insistence, I tried on my dress. Ooo, I love that dress. I also love that I still fit into it. I love the way it swooshes around. I love the tiny waist it provides. Being back in that dress was a little like putting on an old skin (ew, gross analogy.) It felt good to put on that tangible reminder of my own past and find that it still fits who I am today.

Oak Grove Chardonnay

Oak Grove Chardonnay
2007 Reserve
California
about $8

Oak Grove Chardonnay is a good choice to have on hand for whenever you need a white table wine. The diversity of flavor will match the majority of dishes. It's not going to knock your socks off but it will suit most needs admirably.

The first flavor I noticed was surprisingly sweet - like toasted marshmallows - followed by flavors of grapefruit and apricot. As a sipping wine it's a little too confused for my enjoyment but the odd combination allowed the wine to match wonderfully with dinner (broiled catfish with a mustard & basil sauce, cucumber tomato salad, sauteed kale.)

For the geekier among you: Wine Spectator recently did a report on California Chardonnay (as they do every year.) Some of the appellations received excellent reviews almost across the board so I did a little digging to see where this wine came from. According to Oak Grove's website the grapes are sourced from California's "cool appellations." I'm not quite sure what they mean by that; it sounds like they're hiding something. I didn't really expect much pedigree from this producer but it would have been fun to use some of that knowledge for the post. I guess I'll just have to keep drinking.

The Tide is Out

Our family dynamic has some ebb and flow built into it. Monkey and Peanut come and go between our house and their mom's. Our house is their primary residence so having a total of five is our norm but they are gone often enough that we have a routine for when they are gone too.

Moms, especially the stay-at-home variety, don't usually get days off but this fluctuation in numbers gives me some days of relative leisure. (There are a few good things about co-parenting with the ex.) I usually look forward to the quiet house, the chance to run errands with just one child, the freedom to focus on my own development, and on giving undivided attention to Puddin'. These are good days for me. Then Monkey and Peanut come back, either the next day or after the weekend, and that's good too. Puddin' loves her sisters and follows them around the house giggling. I love working with Monkey and Peanut on projects in the kitchen, listening to their stories, and generally enjoy the company.

This past weekend Stan and I drove Monkey and Peanut to their grandparents' house down South and left them there for the whole month. I've had the normal day with our smaller family and I keep thinking about when Monkey and Peanut get here later today; I remind myself they're not coming. I know they're having a wonderful time with extended family: swimming lessons, rehearsing plays, tending the garden, making pompoms, walking the dog. I know this time is very, very good for them. I also know that this time has great potential for our smaller family. Stan and I have more flexible time. We can do projects around the house, more easily go on dates, take a few day trips - our July list is very long. But as much as I love quiet and freedom, I miss those girls. I look forward to the return of natural flow at the end of the month, when the tide comes back in, bringing its wealth of possibilities.