Sunday, May 15, 2011

Error Codes

Blogger (blogspot) has not been functioning terribly well this week. There was some update that went badly and then they had to restore to a previous state. Most of this has been fixed but somewhere in the midst of it, my blogger profile is tainted. I finally figured out how to get into editing and posting through a few sneaky tricks but if I try the official method I end up with a variety of error codes. This got me thinking ... what if there were error codes parenting?

ERROR_ARENA_TRASHED
There are too many toys in this room.

ERROR_BAD_ENVIRONMENT
Someone is cleaning your room today. Who will it be?

ERROR_TOO_MANY_THREADS
There are 17 dirty pairs of underwear under your dresser.

ERROR_CHILD_NOT_COMPLETE
Homework must be complete before dancing naked down the hall.

ERROR_ARITHMETIC_OVERFLOW
Each child is responsible for her own homework.

ERROR_WAIT_NO_CHILDREN
Tell a parent where you are going before you leave.

ERROR_NESTING_NOT_ALLOWED
Worms stay in the dirt - the outside dirt.

ERROR_NO_VOLUME_LABEL
Spiders are not grounds for shrieking.

ERROR_SHARING_VIOLATION
Do not steal the preschooler's toys.

RPC_S_PROXY_ACCESS_DENIED
Proper identification required for Mama's 4-inch heels.

ERROR_DEVICE_DOOR_OPEN
Close the fridge. Close it. Really. Close the fridge NOW!

ERROR_NOT_ENOUGH_QUOTA
Eat your vegetables.

ERROR_BAD_FUNCTION_TABLE
You left dishes on dinner table for someone else to clean up.

ERROR_VIRUS_INFECTED
Washing hands after potty is not optional.

ERROR_ILLEGAL_FLOAT_CONTEXT
Flush the potty.

ERROR_ATOMIC_LOCKS_NOT_SUPPORTED
Your hair is still full of shampoo bubbles.

ERROR_NETWORK_BUSY
Stop interrupting my sentence.

ERROR_EXTRANEOUS_INFORMATION
I don't need to know what color shoes your teacher wore today.

ERROR_BAD_ARGUMENTS
Don't make me settle this. You don't like my solutions.

WAIT_TIMEOUT
Next time settle the argument for yourselves.

ERROR_FAIL_SHUTDOWN
Go back to bed and stay there this time.

ERROR_NO_INHERITANCE
Just you wait.

That should get me started. What error messages would you like to see for your daily life?

Monday, May 9, 2011

From the mouth of preschoolers

Puddin's song of the moment: "A big daddy and a short mama."

I have no idea what the rest of the lyrics are since she went to mumbles and hums after that. It must be a work in progress. I also have no idea what prompted the song at this particular time. I know that she does speak truth, however. Notice in the picture here that my feet are barely touching the ground and yet Stan's knees are bent past 90˚.

On a different note, Stan and I should have our picture taken together more often. I had to go back to last summer to find anything with both of us in it that didn't center around children. Seeing this, I'm longing for summer and vacation and time to enjoy life with my darling dear. The busyness of spring is wearing me out.


Friday, May 6, 2011

World Cocktail Week: 2011

 I often think that it would be lovey and sophisticated to have a cocktail but then I look at a recipe, look at a wine bottle, and just can't pull myself together for the increased effort. Plus, I really do love wine a whole lot.

Once a year, though, Stan and I branch out. Somewhere along the way, someone decided that May 6-13 would be World Cocktail Week. [click here for the when/where/why] For this week each year, Stan and I set aside the wine and have a different cocktail each night after the kids go to bed.

Thursday, May 5: The week hasn't officially started but Stan and I decided to warm up (and give a shout to Cinco de Mayo) with a South of the Border (Tequila, Kahlua, Lime.)
     The recipe said to rim the glass with a 50/50 brown to white sugar mix. Huh? That really shouldn't be necessary so we skipped that step. Since I don't like the super sweet stuff and adore the tart of lime, the decision worked well for me. Stan's sweet tooth balked at the pucker, though, so next time [which might end up being next year] we'll make that extra effort.

Friday, May 6: The official start. Gin Fizz (Gin, simple syrup, lemon, club soda.)
     I don't know how I've managed to not have this before. Gin is my favorite spirit. Citrus is my favorite flavor. Bubbly is my favorite water. This drink was tailor-made for me but somehow I've missed it all these years. Gin Fizz was a slam dunk, except that we weren't sitting on the deck of the cruise ship but instead in our living room after dark. Cool, refreshing, light, and a small enough amount of alcohol that I could still drive the speed boat if I needed to. (and if I had one.)

Saturday, May 7: Stan started installing our new microwave as a Mother's Day present. There were far more difficulties than expected and he included Monkey & Peanut as junior electricians. Finally, an hour past kid bedtime, they hit a hurdle that couldn't be jumped that night and called it quits - with the new microwave still on the floor. After all that work (while I played math games on my phone) Stan made a grocery run to buy me flowers. For all that and more, the drink of the day was Stan-centric. Mud Slide (vodka, Kahlua, Bailey's, cream) but not the frozen kind, which would have required cleaning the kitchen a little bit.

Sunday, May 8: We had a big family shabang for Mother's Day and I'm pretty much always in charge of bringing the drinks. We packed up a mini-bar and hit the road. (Many thanks to Pa who helped out with all the stuff I forgot - namely the equipment. I didn't forget any ingredients but didn't take a lick of bar ware. The three choices of the day were Daquiri (light rum, lime, simple syrup,) Parisian Blonde (dark rum, triple sec, cream,) and XYZ (light rum, triple sec, lemon.) The Daquiri (classic, not frozen) was the big hit of the night. The second batch we made used a light/dark rum mix and a lemon/lime mix. It went over quite well but we're not sure if it was the actual ingredients or the accumulation of them. It has been suggested that Parisian Blonde would be better with chocolate ice cream instead of the half & half we used. Also, by the time we got around to making the XYZs we were out of light rum and had to use dark instead. This turned out just fine but would probably be more lovely in the lighter version.

Remember the part at the top where I mentioned that hard work of cocktails vs. the ease of wine? Three drink choices, 6 adults, lots of juicing. It was worth it: we enjoyed tasting and experimenting, which is what this week is about for Stan & me. Next get-together we're going back to wine though.

Monday, May 9: Kamikaze (Vodka, Triple Sec, lime, simple syrup.)
    It's like a margarita with vodka. Nice refreshing drink to finish off a day that wasn't refreshing on it's own. Kid drama melted away as I sloshed gently into relaxation. Note to self: light dinner and then cocktails doesn't work so well. And that was with the toned down version of the recipe.

Tuesday, May 10: Maiden's Prayer (Gin, Triple Sec, Lemon Juice.)
    I came home from Bible study and Stan met me at the door with this suggestion. I love the simple play on events here. I don't think Stan did it on purpose but maybe we should give him credit anyway. We had to substitute lime juice since we'd run out of lemons. Don't know if you noticed but so far this week only two of the eight drinks haven't requited lemon or lime. Citrus pleases me greatly. This week has been hard on our citrus stash - although we're flush in grapefruit right now. Not too many drinks calling for grapefruit, which is a shame, if you ask me. Anyway, the drink was a little more bracing than a maiden might want with lime but would be lovely and subtle in the lemony version called for.

Wednesday, May 11: White Russian (vodka, KahluĂ , milk.)
     This is a go-to drink for Stan so it's sort of cheating when we're supposed to be exploring. We had a lot going on with a school activity so we went simple for this night.

Thursday, May 12: Sea Breeze (vodka, cranberry juice, grapefruit juice.)
     We finally found a way to use our grapefruits! This one is light and breezy (go figure,) the kind of drink I could easily drink too much of accidentally.

Friday, May 13: Grand 'O (Grand Marnier, orange juice, soda water, lemon juice and a strawberry garnish.)
     I wanted to finish the week with a bang- something totally new and unheard of in our house. I noticed we had plenty of Grand Marnier so I checked their site and found this recommendation (among many other tasty-looking options.) The lemon and orange blend nicely with the Grand Marnier so make a rich, tangy treat.


On Saturday night, Stan and I had a date and I jumped at the chance to go to a wine bar for dinner. The adventure of cocktail week is great fun - and we'll probably play along again next year - but it's good to be back in the grape.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Sliding Through

Lately I've felt like I'm falling. I haven't been able to piece together enough time to get all the good or important stuff done. I keep thinking there's just one more busy week to get through but then another appears.

Last night I felt the weight of 20 years on me - as in, we're going to be having these same struggles almost daily for the next 20 years. What an utterly depressing thought. 20 more years of flailing as I fall into the abyss, waiting for solid ground.

But tonight a different thought occurred to me: what if it's not falling but sliding? What if the spasms of terror, the pitted stomachs and the sloshy perspective are all just part of the joy in the ride? As we give in to gravity and the laws of physics we find ourselves on a ride that brings excitement. As I give in to the laws of human nature and accept the relationships around me, I find myself on a ride that brings unexplainable pleasure.

Like going down a slide, I willingly put myself into the position of fear and anxiety again for the rush that comes with momentum. And like the slide, I know that I'll soon enough hit solid ground - and climb right back up the ladder to do it all again.