Monday, December 13, 2010

Snow Day? Please?

I heard "chance of snow" on the weather report this evening and felt an old familiar hope: SNOW DAY!

I know there won't be enough snow for a snow day tomorrow (but there's a slight chance later this week! pretty please?) I also know what a pain shoveling is (see the picture from the last post.)  Still, I like the sound of a snow day.

Reading together as a family, hot chocolate, board games, movie time, singing together, sledding, looking for animal tracks, baking, science experiments, craft projects,  ...

Come to think of it, one snow day won't be enough. Good thing we have a winter break coming soon. 7 more days of school, kids!

In the midst of all our Christmas planning and doing and rushing, what I want most of all is the time to sit and enjoy the season with my family. White Christmas doesn't mean much for me - we're already going to stay home that day anyway. I want the middle of a busy week day that stops us in our tracks.

And Stan, if you're reading this, I promise I'll make it up to you should my wish come true. I'll shovel and sled while you sit under a blanket with your hands around some spicy hot cocoa. Then, come summer heat, I'll stop complaining and enjoy the free time.

As for the rest of you - what are your favorite snowy day activities?

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Helping Hands

"We all know well that we can do things for others and in the process, crush them, making them feel that they are incapable of doing things by themselves. To love someone is to reveal to them their capacities for life, the light that is shining in them." - Jean Vanier

Peanut is having a hard year at school. She's in a challenging program and for the first time in her life, she can't do everything on the first try. She's not the best in her class. She has to think deeper than before to find the why & the how behind the answers. Homework, which used to be a blur of quick mastery, has become a battle. When faced with work that requires more than pat answers, Peanut whines and cries and begs for help. It's easy to see that helping her - by which Peanut means tell her exactly how to arrive at the answer - crushes her ability to master the material. Loving Peanut means helping her see that she is capable.

In other areas of life, however, those lines aren't as clear. I'm a willing musician and I take joy from playing, especially in our church services. But if I step in to play guitar at every gap in the schedule, am I undermining someone else's chance to join in? I appreciate hearing another person's perspective because it helps me see the larger scope of  an issue. However, if I listen to a person's gripes, am I cutting off his motivation to do something about the problem? When I see someone hurting I long to draw that person in and hold her in a warm embrace; I want her to feel safe and accepted. But if I stand by someone in crisis without calling him to take action, am I reinforcing his belief that he is powerless?

I'm striving to value the person underneath the stress rather than how I feel when I'm helpful. I'm struggling with the guilt and helplessness I feel when I don't step in to resolve a problem presented to me. Little by little, I'm learning to love others in a way that reveals the light shining within.

To find out more about Jean Vanier check out his entry on Wikipedia. His words are even more powerful in the fuller context of his life. This quote - and most others from my blog - came from a daily email sent out by Sojourners.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

More with Less

Sometimes, less works better.

The girls and I put up the tree this past weekend. It was shiny, we were proud. Monday, when the older two got home from school, I plugged in the tree and settled in for some sparkly relaxation. I left the room for a moment and came back to find a dark tree. Somewhere, in the long series of light strings, a fuse had blown. In my heart of hearts I knew it was a very minor deal but closer to the surface I felt the intense panic of crisis mode. Christmas was ruined and we were still 20 days away!

I asked Stan to check out the situation since he's good with electricity and I'm scared of setting the house on fire. (Of course, when it comes to candles our roles are reversed. It's good to divide the fear.) Stan sighed, and said he would add my request to his (very long) list of to-dos. I sighed and set about learning to love my dark, not-twinkling tree.

A few days later I found lights - the colored ones Monkey & Peanut REALLY wanted this year - at a good price so I picked them up. Once upon a time I was a strong, independent woman so I can handle some tree lights, right? Stan solves his problems his way, I usually find alternate routes and skirt around them. Either way, that tree was going to glitter once more.

First step: Get the dead lights off the fully decorated tree. Even with Puddin' "helping," we managed to accomplish this without breaking anything. Second step: Check the dead lights. Turns out, only one strand had blown. Woohoo! Third step: Decide between old white lights that might fail again or new colored lights that would bring delight to two small darlings. The price on the new lights was good but not quite up to bargain standards so I went for the cheap. Fourth step: Restring lights, maneuvering around ornaments, and get all the way to the top using fewer strands.

Maybe it was the lack of bickering in the air, or maybe the Spirit-of-Christmas-Thrift helped me along: regardless, our tree is shiny again. The lights are evenly spaced and go all the way to the top. I even had an extra strand leftover (in addition to the busted one.) More than that, my ego is feeling a little more sparkly. Maybe I'm ready to tackle that broken light fixture. All else fails, I'll get to teach Puddin' to use a fire extinguisher.

Peace, Joy & Panties

I've worked hard to come to terms with the fact that I can't have everything I want. I sometimes feel disappointed and sometimes angry but most of the time I manage to put on my big-girl panties and act like a grown-up. My kids have trouble embracing the big-girl panties but since they are children, this is to be expected. Stan and I lead them toward good character development every chance we get and slowly we're seeing progress. We have hopes that by the time we send them out into the world as legal adults they'll actually know how to behave accordingly.

Unfortunately, there are far too many people in the world around me who are not wearing their big-girl panties or big-boy briefs. Here's my message to the grumpy, huffy scrooge behind me at the grocery store. If you step out of line at the grocery store - even to pick up a rose for your honey - you should not expect the 5 people in line at the only open register to wait for you. You're lucky that the guy you cut in front of (trying to get back to your spot) didn't wallop you. Yes I have a lot of stuff. Yes I have coupons. This is my only toddler-free moment all day so I'm not going to speed things up for you. The cashier, bless his heart, looks totally beat at the end of a long day; I don't think he wants to rush either. Maybe if you were nicer, the cashier would have cared that you saved your spot with a box of croissants, but probably not. One cashier and a store-full of customers - there's not a whole lot he could have done for you.

The cashier kept his calm. The other customers looked on in various states of amusement or boredom. I managed to get out of the store without glaring at the guy. Most of us, it seems, were wearing adult-sized under-garments. Christmas spirit, love & good cheer won out that evening. Here's hoping for more moments when I lose control and goodness and good undies preside.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Away in a Manger



Away in a manger no crib for a bed, the little old smart phone lay down in the shed. The camel is spitting, the phone it does shake, but little old smart phone no ringing it makes.

Friday, December 3, 2010

All Good Gifts

I skipped a whole month of blogging. November happened here in our house but I just wasn't in the mood to talk about it. Things were mostly good, even when they were hectic, but I still didn't feel like sharing.

Now December is here. We started lighting Advent candles. The Christmas decorations are going up little by little. There is much Christmas music in the house. Much of the shopping is done. I've started the heavy allergy meds. [Sidenote - with the help of a recently rediscovered friendship and the other allergists she works with, we might figure out what the deal with the Christmas tree allergy is. At the very least, I'm hopeful that I'll make it to Christmas Eve without bronchitis this year.]

Because of the way the custody schedule fell this year, we haven't had much recreative time with Monkey & Peanut. I've missed weekend time with them. So much of our everyday time is spent with to-dos and planners. Monkey is sometimes surprised to hear me laugh because in the midst of the school routines she forgets that there's a side of me that would rather scrap it all and just have some fun. Deep down I just want to curl up on the sofa with her and read a good book together but responsible parenting prevails. [We started Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone almost two months ago and we're still only half way through. We need weekend time for that alone, even without all the other stuff.]

Tonight we set aside the schedule and had family time. We lit our Advent wreath and talked about how we wait in hope for the good that Jesus brings. We sang our invitation to Emmanuel - a little too loudly for Monkey's taste. Then we played a board game and drank coffee together. (Puddin' got milk, I promise.) We laughed and talked and tried to touch our noses with our tongues. We sent the kids to bed an hour late.

I'm still not feeling particularly verbose about our goings-on here. I feel like protecting the time, keeping it close and holding it sacred. Holidays are for sharing, though, and my lovely sister-in-law has chastised me for holding out on her.

So for each of you out there - I wish you hope & peace, joy & love, as you go through each day of this holiday season. I'm on the lookout for these good things in my world and will cheerfully share what I find. I'd love to hear what good you come across as well.