Whatcha doing?

When I was in high school I thought a vocation was a particular calling. Here's a voice: "Come, follow me." My idea of a calling now is not: "Come." It's ... what I'm doing right now, not what I'm going to be. Life is a calling. - Rebecca Sweeney, an American who held a variety of jobs, including six years as a nun

I recently chatted with a friend I haven't seen in a while. She's pregnant with her first child and asked how I'm enjoying motherhood. The answer is that I finally get to be more myself than I ever have before. Sure, there are dirty floors, whiny kids, and endless laundry, but those things are in the midst of lots of rewarding moments.

I've been reading up on parenting "tweens" since Stan and I are sort of floundering out of our depths. There's been some interesting new info but mostly I feel gratified that we're doing well by our children. We're teaching them valuable lessons about relationships and their emotions, about how to take responsibility and solve problems. The call I once felt to teach is playing out as life moves on.

Each week I take part in planning worship services at our church. I'm part of a crew thinking deeply about who God is, why we worship, and how to meet the needs of the widest possible group of people. My tendency to think too much has a useful outlet and my brief stint at seminary is paying off.

Recently I played guitar in public for the first time ever. I was pretty sure I wasn't good enough, wasn't ready, but it turned out just fine. Even though there's plenty more work to do, little moments of practice and lessons have paid off so that the call I once felt to be a musician is more realistic than ever.

Sometimes I feel like I've lost my identity in the cacophony of voices at our house. Sometimes I wonder if being a happy stay-at-home-mom means that I've given up all ambition or sense-of-self. Culture tells me I shouldn't settle but I'm having far too good a time to listen.

Life is calling.