Normal

Stan is headed off to the West Coast for business soon. When he travels we usually offer Monkey & Peanut's mom extra time with them. (I don't mind caring for them alone so it's mostly for courtesy.) It took a while for her to respond to the offer so I found myself running through possible scenarios of what the week could look like for me.

While custody for the near future was still in limbo, I had reason to plan an emergency trip down South. My grandmother had a serious stroke and was initially given very little chance of recovery. The cousins are scattered around the globe and we each made plans to get back to the homestead as quickly as possible. Granny is doing better than expected, though, and might stabilize. The trip plans are ready to initiate at a moment's notice but on hold. Meanwhile, Monkey & Peanut's mom has decided not to take any extra time during Stan's upcoming trip. After facing so many possible changes to the routine, I'm going forward with business as usual.

Normal has returned. In one sense I'm enjoying it. I like knowing what to expect and how to organize my day and week. All three girls thrive when their environment is stable so there's great benefit to keeping things the same. On the other hand, I was looking forward to a change and some possible adventure. Granny isn't out of the woods so the trip South could still happen. Even under sad circumstances there would be great joy in seeing everyone again. And if Granny passes while Stan is out of town there's a whole other layer of adventure - road trip with all three girls and fights with the government travel office to get Stan where he needs to be.

The fact that we're in normal mode when there are things up in the air shows just how illusory "normal" is. There's always the chance of unexpected. We can never really know how to organize the days. I find great comfort in that illusion. And at the same time, I find promise in the possibility that things will not go the way I imagine.