The Artful Dodger

All week long I've been fighting the urge to do something creative in favor of working on the momentous (and never-ending) list of to-dos. Kid antics and hectic schedules have been tough on me this week. I've been tense, grumpy, and highly reactive. This morning I reached the point where I was ready to run for the hills. [In my case, running for the hills usually means a spontaneous, day-long, solo hike in the foothills not too far away.] It's too cold for the hills, though, and besides - there's that list to consider. Instead I spent about an hour making music. I wasn't practicing for anything, just playing for the joy of it. With just Puddin' and me in the house I sang at the top of my lungs. I changed rhythms and melodies. I sang music to suit my mood. For the first time in months I played guitar for myself rather than as my teacher prescribed, and was surprised at how how much my playing has changed. I approached songs with much more confidence and grace than before. I felt much more hopeful regarding my skill and went away with new zeal to practice. My piano skills are still what they were but all in good time.

I put off creativity for a week because I had stuff to do. I've been ill-at-ease and unable to cope with whatever has Monkey & Peanut ramped up. I was gearing up for war with the kids all weekend, feeling hopeless and incapable of parenting. I finally prioritized art and found enough strength to stay and love my family. I want to believe that I'll remember this next time - or better yet, that I'll keep creativity high enough in the priorities in the first place. History is not on my side with this one, but a girl can change, right?