Sliding Through

Lately I've felt like I'm falling. I haven't been able to piece together enough time to get all the good or important stuff done. I keep thinking there's just one more busy week to get through but then another appears.

Last night I felt the weight of 20 years on me - as in, we're going to be having these same struggles almost daily for the next 20 years. What an utterly depressing thought. 20 more years of flailing as I fall into the abyss, waiting for solid ground.

But tonight a different thought occurred to me: what if it's not falling but sliding? What if the spasms of terror, the pitted stomachs and the sloshy perspective are all just part of the joy in the ride? As we give in to gravity and the laws of physics we find ourselves on a ride that brings excitement. As I give in to the laws of human nature and accept the relationships around me, I find myself on a ride that brings unexplainable pleasure.

Like going down a slide, I willingly put myself into the position of fear and anxiety again for the rush that comes with momentum. And like the slide, I know that I'll soon enough hit solid ground - and climb right back up the ladder to do it all again.