Kind of Blue

For the last few weeks I've been near the breaking point. Many times I've considered blogging but then reconsidered since it didn't seem prudent to put my real thoughts out there for the world to read. I couldn't come up with anything nice to say so I chose to say nothing. It feels somewhat dishonest to share only the easy stuff but then again, a public forum is so easily misunderstood and misused.

This past weekend Stan and I were able to get away - without any of the kids. [insert big sigh here.] We didn't go far, just over an hour away from home, but there was a pool and a hot tub so it felt like a million miles away from all my cares. We ate fabulous dinners, drank good wine, listened to live jazz. I swam in the pool and soaked in the hot tub. I read a fabulous book - The Man Who Was Thursday - in one day. I even did some of that reading while in the hot tub. It was a GOOD weekend.

In addition to the relaxation, I also found some clarity while away. With time to think and pressure lifted, I was able to get some perspective on all the drama and angst I've been experiencing. Armed with new insight I made an appointment to see a counselor. This man has been a huge help to both Stan and I over the years and his wisdom is precious to me. After sitting with him for an hour I feel more calm, and centered. The nasty voices in my head have been put into perspective. I also got a homework assignment - I've been commissioned to write a blues song. My guitar teacher recently taught me the 12 bar blues so I've got some wailing to do.

I'm grateful for vacation, for wise council, for artistic expression, and for a husband who doesn't think I'm a wacko. There are a lot of things going right right now - how on earth am I supposed to sing the blues?