Starting Now

School doesn't start until after Labor Day but due to the summer visitation schedule we're having our last week of summer with Monkey & Peanut. Before they came home today I found myself hoping we could have some relaxing time together without any agenda. That's pretty rare, partly because I don't do so well with just leaving well-enough alone. I like them to be on task, engaged, and learning. Those aren't bad things, by any means, but too much of that structured stuff makes for a stifled childhood.

Not long after getting home, Monkey & Peanut decided to play Mancala but neither remembered the real rules (if they ever knew them.) They were arguing over how to play and who was right. They had decided to give up altogether when I walked into the dining room. Puddin' was happily pushing her stroller around so I stayed to guide them through the rules. I talked them through decisions and helped them figure out strategies. Peanut mentioned that the game is more fun than when she played with her friends. (See - rules and structure CAN lead to fun!) Monkey was captivated by the idea that she had some control, and it wasn't all up to chance. After a successful game they decided to take on the challenge of facing me as a team. They remembered a lot of the strategies we talked about and delighted in trying to trick me. They also managed to work well together and keep good attitudes, which borders on miraculous.

After Mancala they wanted to try a new game so I taught them Crazy 8's. (Puddin' was still happy as a lark putzing about the house or sitting in my lap playing with my cards. She's such a happy toddler.) They caught on pretty quickly and we had a rollicking game. Peanut's attention span isn't quite as developed so she kept drawing when she had a card to play. She got frustrated but with a few reminders she was able to cut the whining and enjoy herself. Luckily for her sake we played open hand so Monkey and I were able to gently guide her to wiser decisions. I had to bend the rules a little towards the end to speed up the play - otherwise we would have been playing all the way up until dinner. I think Monkey and I could have managed that quite easily but the younger two were starting to lose a little patience.

It was a delight to play with the kids. I know how fun they are but I don't always choose to remember. I know how wonderful and good-hearted they are but I don't always allow myself to see it. This is the part of parenting that trips me up over and over again: I have trouble being in the moment that is actually happening right now. I'm always planning ahead, looking forward, searching for ramifications or consequences. I'm missing out on a lot of good things happening around me everyday. There are very good things here in our now. I want to cement these images in my memory so I choose play more often but even that is forward thinking. Instead, I will simply say this - I enjoyed today. Today I love my kids. Today was a good day.