Grandfather Moutain

Our mountain get-away this year was to Grandfather Mountain. We drove most of the way up but did a short hike to the top. The big news is, Puddin' climbed it herself. She needed a little bit of help climbing up rocks half her height but other than that she was a total trooper. Peanut was thrilled to be out and moving so she zoomed ahead repeatedly. Peanut often feels the need to blaze the trail and this was even more true out there on an actual trail. Monkey had a harder time getting engaged but eventually found her groove, looking at rocks.


The other big news is that all three girls climbed the swinging bridge (suspension bridge a mile above sea level, connecting two peaks on the mountain) without a moment's hesitation. I, however, was a wuss. I had horrible images of traumatically losing my family and froze. I think that I could have done it if I were on my own but not with my darlings there, which I pondered fruitlessly while I waited. How can I love the mountains so but have such strong reactions to the height? Is this new since motherhood or did I repress earlier fears out of foolish pride? Maybe some day I'll understand. While I mused, I could see the crew because of Peanut's bright pink shirt. Sitting on the safe side while they climbed very close to the edge was terror-inducing but I passed the time by taking pictures for other families that were just as cowardly as me.

Eventually they came wandering back to me and we all moved along. The little hike down was a bit tougher on Puddin' but she still insisted on doing it all herself. We convinced her to accept a little hand holding and all was well. I find it amazing what small ones will do when we give them the chance. Hopefully I'll remember that tomorrow when they're each asking for something to do.

In addition to hiking we also stopped to see the animal habitats. The group that runs the mountain has zoo-like enclosures for local wildlife so that visitors can get acquainted with Blue Ridge natives. The bears were impressive but shy. The deer are a pretty common sight, even in our suburban world. The cougar wouldn't come out to play. The otters, however, were charming. Each of the girls came away with an appreciation of otters and a desire to play with them. Many years ago, my father put a copy of Ring of Bright Water in front of me and I've longed to have otters friends ever since. I hope my daughters will stay interested long enough to read the book with me sometime soon.



Our final stop on the mountain was the fudge shop. The glee was immense, and so was the pile of fudge we carried out of there. Each of us chose a flavor to share and we gorged ourselves on a fudge buffet for the next few days. In case you stop by: the dark chocolate fudge is deceptively simple, and elegantly tasty. Deep, rich chocolate that slowly seeps into the taste buds. Scrumptious.

The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We arrived at our hotel after bedtime but still decided to indulge in quick late-night family swim. Monkey and Peanut were amazed at the heart shaped jacuzzi tub in the middle of the room. We almost let them use it but ran out of time the next morning. That would have been quite the picture, though. Too bad we couldn't make it work.

We arrived at camp just in time and both Monkey and Peanut went running off to greet their friends, which is just as it should be, but for 24 hours they were ours. These moments are becoming more rare so they are also increasingly valuable. All 5 of us, bound together with love and nature.

This is what happy feet look like.

 

Thou Shalt Not Be Bored

Recently we got a notice about a parenting seminar at the elementary school. "What to do with your kids this summer." I figure we're pros by now and there's no reason to waste an evening. Stan urged and almost insisted. Stan was right. I went to the seminar and came home with more ideas than I could possibly use in a summer. It doesn't seem fair to hoard them all so here's a smattering to share with brothers and sisters-in-arms.

Pie made from farmer's market cherries

Kitchen:

• bake and decorate a cake
• kids plan family meal and create shopping list
• have a tea party
• have kids pick foods to try at the farmer's market and plan a meal around what you bring home

Outside:

• watch the sun rise
• sit on the porch or by a window and watch a storm
• go star-gazing
• paint letters, words, and numbers with water and a paint brush
• use crayons and paper to make rubbings of tree bark patterns

Science experiment from last year. We love goop.

Science:

• gather a pile of objects and have kids guess which will sink and which will float
• use ribbon, bubbles, kites to see which way the wind is blowing
• find sources of iron in the house using magnets. Do different magnets behave differently? 
• make goop with corn starch, water, and food coloring
• try to sprout new growth from "garbage" food (carrot tops, potato eyes)

Math:

• take timed walks around the block. Practice telling time as you race to beat your family time.
• have kids throw a ball and then measure how far it went. How does that compare to the next throw?
• have child pick up 1+2+3+4 things in his/her room
• have child add up all the change in your pocket or purse

Service:

• bake for a family friend
• offer to help a neighbor with simple yard work
• write letters to elderly in church congregation or in a nursing home
• pick up litter in the neighborhood

Color experiments

Creativity:

• make cards and send them
• give kids a list of words and have them write a story using as many as possible
• write a song together
• have child draw on paper with a white candle then paint over it with watercolors
• study the work of one artist and see if children can imitate the style
• place 1 or 2 drops of food coloring on opposite sides of a bowl of milk. stand back and watch them swirl. (this moves to science if you talk with the kids about why it works that way.)

Active:

• garden
• observation walks
• create an indoor bowling alley with empty coke bottles and a rubber ball
• hide a treasure, make a map, and send them on their way.

This is our dentist's office.

Imagination:

• have child choose 4 to 5 pictures and then number them. The child tells a story using each of the pictures. 
• take an imaginary space trip with your child
• visit ethnic shops, food stores, and restaurants. Look at maps to plan your trip, and use books to set the stage before you go and review the culture afterwards.
• camp out in the living room. tell stories by flashlight.

Processing Summer:

• make a poster or scrapbook from ticket stubs, program notes, etc as the summer goes on
• keep a journal with drawings and thoughts from each day or each outing
•  use a large calendar to write messages, weather reports, or notes on activities

I hope these ideas help you and your children (not to mention me and mine) have blissful summer fun. Just a reminder, the vast majority of these ideas are not my own but came from a swath of parenting resources. I wish I could credit the creators but like much parenting brilliance, these ideas came without bylines.

Chimney Rock

School starts tomorrow so I should probably finish all the summer stories soon. I'm sure there will be much more to talk about in the coming weeks. I know for sure that there will be more time to myself for putting coherent thoughts together. God bless our public school system.

As part of our big summer road-trip we stopped at Chimney Rock in North Carolina. After a few hours of driving (and what had been nearly a week of driving for Stan and me) it was great to get out and move. I'm a huge fan of hiking even though I don't do it often and have turned into a wimp. I often long for mountains and go into a funk if I don't get my fix a few times a year. Chimney Rock isn't quite hiking, though. This was climbing stairs—lots of them—crowded with most of the office building during a full elevator outage. We had breezes and plenty of beautiful scenery, and a toddler to carry—did I mention this was hard work?

Monkey & Peanut started off the hike a little leery but it didn't take them long to realize that this was going to be worth the effort. Here's a picture of them at the first overlook. (Aren't they gorgeous? It's hard for me to even see the background.)

We hiked on and came to Chimney Rock itself. You can see from the first picture what it looks like. I thought a little too much about the fact that there were 25–50 people standing on a rock jutting out from the side of a mountain so I sat mostly still in the very center of the space. I managed to keep my mouth shut and not ruin the fun for the rest of the fam, which I consider a victory. I did manage to shut down my fear long enough to participate in pictures. In the solo picture, Stan is looking up at the next part of our hike. He looks a little wistful, I think.

Monkey took the picture of Stan and me together. I've got hat hair and we're both squinting. I almost didn't include it but we look happy and that makes it a pretty real representation. To make up for the scruffy parents, take a look at those fabulous girls! Monkey, looking off in the distance, distracted by some beautiful sight. Peanut, looking straight at the camera ready to start up a dialog. Puddin' just delighted to be part of it all. We have a bad history with Christmas cards (I don't think we've managed to get them out once since we've been married) but I'm tempted to get some printed up with this picture. I still won't manage to get them in the mail, though, so they would turn into bookmarks and toddler projects. Instead, I'll just post it here for friends and family (and a few random strangers—hi!) to see. In a few months—when you're counting your holiday cards—please remember this and count us in. Hope your holidays are full of joy. Happy New Year!

We continued up to the next part of the hike and were able to look down on what we had accomplished. That's one of the things that I enjoy about hiking: There are plenty of tangible rewards on the way up, with scenery and endorphins, but there's also instant feedback when you get to the top. Look what I just overcame!

A very nice mother/daughter team took some family pictures for us. The best of the bunch is down near the bottom of the post. Puddin' did not want to smile for the strange lady.

After our climb down [please don't run. watch out for the people climbing up. no trampling, please. remember how hard it was to climb up? so don't run over the climbers.] we took in the waterfall down towards the bottom. There hadn't been too much rain so it was a gentle fall. The great thing about gentle is that without too much flow, it was safe for folks to climb in. Stan took Monkey & Peanut in to go traipsing about in the water while Puddin' and I stayed on dry bridge. I had a great shot lined up with Stan's hand in the falls but a tattooed arm got in the frame and then the camera battery died. The other battery was in Stan's pocket. They splashed and explored, even though the camera wasn't there to record it. It was all going wonderfully until Peanut slipped on a slimy rock and got wet up to her belly button. She squished for some of the rest of the day but we didn't have anywhere nice we needed to go.

From there we went to find some dinner and then off to our hotel. The next day it was back in the van for more road-trip.

Date? with no kids?

Stan and I took some time during our recent road trip for an overnight date - 36 hours without any children! We toured Stan's old school, ate like college students and then glammed up for a night out. Here's a little photo tour of some of the highlights.

We headed for town after breakfast and went immediately to lunch. Cheese steaks at one of Stan's old haunts. Cheese steaks are not on the diet but they were immensely tasty and well worth the momentary guilt. The guilt was quickly drowned out by Stan anyway, as he told me stories of his college life.

Next on the list was an official college tour - the kind the admissions office puts together for perspective freshmen. I'm happy to report that I was NOT mistaken for a high schooler.

It was 100˚ that day and we walked 'round campus for 90 minutes that afternoon. We left puddles in our wake. We both enjoyed the time on campus but we were grateful to head off to the hotel and wash away the hobo looks we had acquired.

There are no pictures of us dressed up. I forgot to pack a purse to match and the camera didn't fit in Stan's pocket. Quite a shame, really, because we don't manage to look that nice very often. We ate at an unassuming little place called Terra Terrior, which I found from the most recent Wine Spectator Grand Award winners. The food was excellent - chipotle shrimp & grits, grilled halibut in shallot sauce, and a creamy, frothy, meringue-y key lime pie.

We headed back to the hotel and this ...

was the view out our room window. During the day the view showed the beautiful hotel gardens but there's still enough city gal left in me that this is the picture that felt luxurious.

The next morning we walked over to a nearby Corner Bakery and had scrumptious eggs, coffee and toast. I've been to a few shops from this chain and never considered it much to sing about but this one could be the poster-shop for the brand. The staff was wonderful, called us darlin' and the like - and we even got hugs to go with our breakfast. How often do you get hugs from the staff when you're out for breakfast? And how did this wonderful woman (who's name I didn't catch) manage to make it a blessing rather than creepy?

We spent the rest of the morning at the pool. I am happy when submerged in water.

From there we drove about town looking at all sorts of other locations that Stan had known in his college years. Since I didn't know him then it was fun to see something concrete to go with the stories, and to get a glimpse into that time in his life. By walking in Stan's footsteps I can somehow be a part of those years, even from a distance of many years. I'm looking forward to our next nostalgic road trip.

This is not my father's roadtrip

When I was young we often went on long road trips to visit family. We'd pile into the car at 4 a.m., eat a Hardee's breakfast somewhere down the road, try and find someplace serving lunch at 10 in the morning. Other than food, we only stopped for absolute potty emergencies. There were no electronics save the radio and tape player. We played oodles and oodles of car games. We'd drive late into the night and finally stop to find beds long after my brother and I had fallen asleep in the car. We'd be up and out at 4 the next morning and so it goes again. They were rough trips but I remember them as full of family fun.

Last week we went down South to pick up Monkey & Peanut. We traveled down, dropped off Puddin', went to the big city for a 36 hour date, back to the in-laws, and then packed up all the kids and headed off to camp. We had to get Monkey & Peanut to West Virginia at a certain time on Sunday afternoon so the best way to manage this was to stay overnight halfway through and then continue the next day. I told Stan my standard was no cockroaches. He found a lovely spot with rustic charm and a French-inspired bistro on the first floor. For breakfast I had a feta and carmelized onion souffle with fresh fruit and drinkable (tasty, even) coffee. Sitting outside, listening to the waterfall, drinking my coffee, I could barely hear the sounds of the bickering children. What a blissful and civilized way to start a day of traveling.

(For the record, the sippy cup was not mine.)

Happy Birthday Stan!

 

I made a cake today (from scratch, which is rare) and Puddin' asked "oh, why?" She's a unique toddler but we still can't escaped that question. I told her it was for her dad's birthday. "oh, why?" Today is his birthday. "oh, why?" Today is the day we celebrate that he was born. And from that point on, Puddin' and all her toys did everything as a celebration that Daddy was born. They ate (pretend) yogurt to celebrate that Daddy was born. They rolled on the floor to celebrate that Daddy was born. They served cookies to celebrate that Daddy was born. They climbed the stool to celebrate that her Daddy was born. The girl was beyond herself with glee that her Daddy was born. So am I.

[The picture is from a date we recently had down South, as part of the Great Roadtrip of '10.]

Have guitar, will travel

This is my first post in quite a long time. I started one a while back and then realized that there wasn't much point to it - it was, in fact, rather boring. Basically it boils down to my kids are smart and I don't let them get bored because I have no tolerance for the whining or fighting.

So that's pretty much been my days. In the evening I tend to crash from all the expended energy and enthusiasm. Some nights I'll try and get a little cleaning done but that makes me more grumpy so I generally just deal with the mess. There hasn't been much room for pondering or creativity. Of course, that's also part of why I'm grumpy and drained but that's a whole other matter.

Earlier this week, out of the blue, Puddin' looked at me and said "Mama, I like how you sing." "Oh," I said, "you like it when I sing?" "Yeah. So booful." Then later at the grocery store she started singing and I tried to join in. "No, it's my turn. You no sing now." and sang even louder down the cereal aisle.

Last week Peanut - the resident rocker - asked me to spend some time painting with her. This is pretty rare since she doesn't generally see herself as a visual artist. I wish she hadn't asked while I was prepping dinner - I'm not sure I'll get that opportunity back.

Monkey- our painter and ballerina - is taking a break from dance this summer and doing some intro lessons in guitar and piano. Her long fingers work magic on the keyboard, even though she's only had a few lessons. She's also signed up to take violin through the school next year, which she was quite reluctant to even consider a year ago.

Each of our girls is freely taking artistic risks and exploring new avenues. For both Monkey & Peanut this is a pretty big change. They used to be reluctant to try anything unfamiliar. Monkey is starting to recognize how creative her thought processes are and is trying to harness it. (She started a series of baby picture books that are pretty good. I hope she'll finish a few of them.) Peanut is starting to understand the amount of work it takes to hone talent and will choose to practice without prompting at least once a week. And Puddin' is busting out all over. She's dancing, doing percussion, and singing her heart out. Shout out to Papa, if he's reading - she loves drumming, especially on bellies. Sometimes she'll sing a little bit and then say to me in all seriousness "I just made up that song."

This weekend we take Monkey & Peanut down South to Stan's parents for a month. They get to run and swim and have sleepovers and generally be little girls for days on end. Among the many things on my list to pack is two guitars. In my mind's eye I can see them now, each proudly wheeling her suitcase with her guitar case strapped to her back. If they were just 6 inches taller it could be the picture of going off to college, or on the road for the first gig. I love watching them grow, especially into such beautiful works of art. I'm sure gonna miss them.

The Last Throes of Spring

It's been a while since I've put up a wine post. Rest assured, we're still drinking but there haven't been many outstanding wines in the cue. It's hard to get up the energy to write up a wine that doesn't wow me, (even though I said I was going to.) Earlier this week we had a rosé syrah that I was excited about. I came up with what I thought was a good menu to match but it was merely ok. Honestly, I count my lucky stars that we get "ok" wine as often as we do when our price point is so very low. Times like these I miss working in the wine world.

The big news in our house is panties. Panties, panties, panties! We dance with panties, we sing about panties, we wash a lot of panties. We're trying to convince the toddler that panties really are the bees knees and it's worth giving up the uninterrupted play that diapers allow. It's a slow process but I think we're making progress. This morning she begged for a diaper but we're holding our ground. I imagine the toddler mood swings will work to our advantage and she'll be singing the praises of panties again within the hour.

[I'm sure some of y'all noticed the juxtaposition of pictures here. Puddin' has her potty training tools and Mama has a set of her own.]

In addition to all this we're finishing the school year - and have finally finished the "spring" planting. Summer doesn't officially start for another week so we're technically in the zone. The plants are harder to convince. Hopefully they'll get over the loss of their spring and be willing to grow anyway.

I feel somewhat similarly about Monkey & Peanut as they finish their school years. Hopefully they'll get over the losses and stresses of this year and grow stronger in spite of it all. It's been a rough school year for all of us. The loss of pets, the lack of friends, and scary new stages of growth. Summer brings familiar activities, childish fun, and time to step away from the stress, not to mention the chance to let the toddler run naked in the backyard. Who needs potty training?

Starting Now

School doesn't start until after Labor Day but due to the summer visitation schedule we're having our last week of summer with Monkey & Peanut. Before they came home today I found myself hoping we could have some relaxing time together without any agenda. That's pretty rare, partly because I don't do so well with just leaving well-enough alone. I like them to be on task, engaged, and learning. Those aren't bad things, by any means, but too much of that structured stuff makes for a stifled childhood.

Not long after getting home, Monkey & Peanut decided to play Mancala but neither remembered the real rules (if they ever knew them.) They were arguing over how to play and who was right. They had decided to give up altogether when I walked into the dining room. Puddin' was happily pushing her stroller around so I stayed to guide them through the rules. I talked them through decisions and helped them figure out strategies. Peanut mentioned that the game is more fun than when she played with her friends. (See - rules and structure CAN lead to fun!) Monkey was captivated by the idea that she had some control, and it wasn't all up to chance. After a successful game they decided to take on the challenge of facing me as a team. They remembered a lot of the strategies we talked about and delighted in trying to trick me. They also managed to work well together and keep good attitudes, which borders on miraculous.

After Mancala they wanted to try a new game so I taught them Crazy 8's. (Puddin' was still happy as a lark putzing about the house or sitting in my lap playing with my cards. She's such a happy toddler.) They caught on pretty quickly and we had a rollicking game. Peanut's attention span isn't quite as developed so she kept drawing when she had a card to play. She got frustrated but with a few reminders she was able to cut the whining and enjoy herself. Luckily for her sake we played open hand so Monkey and I were able to gently guide her to wiser decisions. I had to bend the rules a little towards the end to speed up the play - otherwise we would have been playing all the way up until dinner. I think Monkey and I could have managed that quite easily but the younger two were starting to lose a little patience.

It was a delight to play with the kids. I know how fun they are but I don't always choose to remember. I know how wonderful and good-hearted they are but I don't always allow myself to see it. This is the part of parenting that trips me up over and over again: I have trouble being in the moment that is actually happening right now. I'm always planning ahead, looking forward, searching for ramifications or consequences. I'm missing out on a lot of good things happening around me everyday. There are very good things here in our now. I want to cement these images in my memory so I choose play more often but even that is forward thinking. Instead, I will simply say this - I enjoyed today. Today I love my kids. Today was a good day.

They're coming back tomorrow!

Today has been incredibly quiet and peaceful. Puddin' has been an absolute delight. My mom came over to play with Puddin' and help me get the house ready for everyone's return but even our flurry of cleaning was still calm. (Thanks for your help, Ma!) The stories I heard from down South were not calm - lots of loud laughter, cavorting, hamming it up, etc. Slightly tearful goodbyes but mostly just folks enjoying each other. There's a part of me that loves days like today. I can't maintain sanity without them. But I'm looking forward to having my wild and crazy girls back in the house (not to mention my handsome hubby.) I gladly trade a little sanity for having all five of us under one roof again.

It turns out that for much of August Monkey and Peanut will be with their mom so Stan and I are only getting them back for short doses. I know she has a right to time with them and I certainly don't begrudge her time with her kids - I just forgot to factor that into my plans. Here I've been dreaming of all the things we're going to do and we'll be doing well to get through a tenth of them. They are such loveable girls, everyone wants a piece of them. I'm grateful I get a turn but like a good potato chip, I'm left wanting more. Once school starts we'll be back to routine; that routine gets me daily hugs, lots of stories, and snacktime.

Last Day of School

The time when Monkey and Peanut are at school is my productive time. I can get housework done, catch up on email, play guitar, go for a run, or any number of things. It's a little hampered by Puddin' but she's fairly cooperative so most of the time I can get through my list. Today, however, is the last day of the school year. I have a mere 3 hours today and then we're a gaggle of four all day long.

I'm looking forward to certain things - no homework to monitor, for one. I'm also looking forward to museum trips, science experiments, reading together, bike rides, and on and on. What I'm not looking forward to is pulling in the reins. The kids - Monkey in particular - tend to get destructive if they're not bounded by structure. A day at home with them becomes a constant race to stay one step ahead of their activities. If they get bored before I get to them then they decide to cut something to bits or dig up the flowers or wrestle a sister to the ground on the concrete. I become weary from the constant monitoring and get grumpy. They get annoyed at my grumpiness and start to act out. Puddin' gets stressed out by the stress and clings ever tighter. It's not a pretty sight.

Don't get me wrong - it's not all bad. On good days they make fabulously creative toys out of cardboard, spend hours exploring the yard with magnifying glasses, volunteer to help with the housework, and read to their baby sister. On those days I often find myself sitting back, watching what wonderful people they are, grateful for the honor of being in their lives.

I sent the girls to bed last night, myself dreaming of relaxing summer days. This morning was more the unpleasant sort, though. I hope I can muster enough energy to make this afternoon lovely and laid-back. With a little luck and a little prayer, maybe I can pull it off. Ready or not, summer is here.